Friday, September 19, 2008
At first he blamed his shakiness on me. I guess denial is common.
My thoughts and emotions are really spinning. I'm resigned to the situation only because there is nothing that I can do to change it. I must accept it in order to move forward. However, I have had thoughts of, "Why him God?" Why me and my family?" I don't dwell on that idea because it is so negative and self absorbed.
Parkinson's is a neurogenerative movement disorder that progressively gets worse and is incurable. Michael J. Fox and Mohammad Ali have Parkinson's. Do you remember seeing Michael when he first announced he had PD? I do. I was stunned. Now I sit in that same dull feeling wondering if my husband will be shaking his head and body like Michael.
Last night I told the children that we need to help Dad more with things like walking the dog and doing chores around the house. They don't know what PD is but they sensed in my voice and manner that it is serious.
My husband was sitting at the kitchen table and very calmly said, "I went to the doctor today and he gave me some medicine". He was staring at the bottle of pills, reading its' complicated instructions. Literally, he takes one pill every day at 7pm for a week, the following week a pill every day at 12pm , the following week a pill at 5am, 12 pm and 7pm and then I can't remember. I am sure I will need to make a chart because he won't remember. He has always resisted taking vitamins or pills.
I didn't cry when he told me. I feel like crying today. I could cry but what good would that do? I'd only have to recover and find a way to get strong. I have cried so very much in the last few years; tears for lost friendships, tears from a brokenheart, tears from failure, tears for nothing. I have learned that tears are worthless.
I have already taped into the Internet for information about PD and am finding that it's a big story to enter into.
I honestly believe that it is not when we stand up to fight or lay down to let it be, it is the moment when we reach out that changes everything.
I am thankful that I have this blog to share my thoughts.
Monday, September 15, 2008
As you can see from the picture on the box the color is Bark Brown. A shade very close to my original hair color. I thought it was a perfect match and considering the fact that it was the only color choice available in a brown shade, I was happy to shell out $3.99 for the box. Yes, that's right $3.99. After spending a week spraying tea ( rosemary and sage) to restore the hair color to the gray and coffee to give color to the rest of my hair I jumped on the henna idea. It's been a whole week beyond my usual touch-up and I am feeling antsy about the whole idea of going natural. Must be strong.
The goal of this project is to get away from using toxic harsh chemicals on my hair. I carefully read the directions and prepared my mixing bowl, brush and robe. I opened the pouch and discovered not brown but a green shade of powder that smelled. Imagine an earthy, foul, pungent baby poop like smell. Yeah that's about right.
Now I had to balk. I pause to consider the effects of putting this concoction on my head. So far I'm okay with the rosemary sage smell ( rather nice) and the coffee is fun, but this stuff stinks. I thought well I bought the last one on the shelf, maybe since it's all natural it's beyond its' shelf life. I checked the box for an expiration date and found nothing. Fearless, and way to trusting I carefully add hot water according to the directions and discover that not only does it reek but it is green! It's GREEN. Pea soup green. I am now greatly concerned with the prospect of putting GREEN stinky stuff on my head. Originally I was worried that the henna would make my hair red ( I like red hair on other people, but I think that it doesn't work well with my complexion), now I must consider the possibility of getting green highlights. For some CRAZY reason I proceed. I apply the pea soup gooey mixture on my head and stare at my reflection in the mirror. Dear God this is the prayer I need you to answer. I know I thought there were other big important issues - world peace, helping the hungry and paying my bills, but I was wrong - now were talking about my vanity.
The instructions indicate that I need to wait 40 minutes to get the color I want. Yeah right I'm waiting 40 minutes to end up looking like a Martian. I'm not getting ready for Halloween. So after 20 agonizing minutes I hop in the shower. I wash my hair with a passion reserved only for desperate souls who fear the devil or in this case the Hell life will be with Green Hair. I rinse, lather and repeat. Then I sprayed coffee on my hair, hoping that all the green is gone. Yes, I did stop to think about the color combination of green and dark brown. What is that gunk?
After towel drying I began the inspection.
I start looking for gray.
This is what it looks like -
Friday, September 5, 2008
Try my new hair color kit!!
Yeah that's right.
I discovered a way to restore the color to my gray hair and today I brewed up a potion and sprayed it on my hair.
I know how funny this idea must be - coffee and tea for your hair, but wait it actually makes sense if you agree that most medicines, creams and products are plant based.
My motivation is simple. I want to save my hair from the damages of hair dyes. They all contain really harmful chemicals that strip away the hair follicle and dry it out. After a time the hair must be cut for it to look nice. I want to grow my hair longer and nothing is ugly than long dry tangled hair soo... I did a Google search. Low and behold I find this site -
and then I find another site with basically the same information. Inspired I went to the health food store and bought herbs in bulk and then I went home and brewed my tea - rosemary and sage, which smells absolutely wonderful, and I filled a spray bottle, sprayed my hair, waited about a half hour and then I shampooed.
My hair is nice and soft and the gray is somewhat covered. According to the directions repeated applications are necessary for full coverage to be achieved. I am willing to give it a try because I love the idea of using all natural products. Think of all the chemicals that enter your body via the tiny pores in the skin. Lotions, soaps, dyes, deodorants etc.... and they all contain chemicals that we couldn't pronounce even if a gun were aimed at us. How much cellular damage
is the cumulative effect of these products having on our systems?
Secondly- one of the side effects of menopause is dry skin and hair loss. Lucky me I got a heavy dose of both and lost a lot of hair. Happily, much of it has grown back but I still have dry skin and hair. I have tried many, many products that make miraculous claims and never come close to being more than a superficial fix. If I am going to make a real change I have to stop chemically processing, blow drying, flat ironing and abusing my hair.
However, I can only be so brave because after all I'm not ready to be old or at least look it so I am giving the new treatment a few weeks and then I'm trying a Henna all natural hair dye.
In the mean time fair warning to friends and family - I may smell like a cross between Folgers and rosemary.
Now is there anybody else who would like to enter this experiment with me? It would be fun share the experience.