The next thing I'm turning forty or is it thirty-nine again, any way I 'm like, better take this one seriously. So I stocked up on anti-aging products. I thought I could trouble shoot that problem and never look a day older. Just spend lots of money, never go in the sun, drink massive amounts of water, and only laugh on rare occasions. That plan didn't last. I knew it was seriously flawed after my fifth trip to the bathroom before noon. I washed my hands looked in the mirror laughed out loud and thought, " I can't live like this".
Then I turned forty-nine and I thought, now that I know how to use the Internet I will Google - best anti-aging methods available to the common person who doesn't have a lot of money. Evidently, best equals money and common equals dumb. I decided to save lots of shipping and handling charges and so I went to Sephora instead. At my age I can handle the snippy salesperson who can spot a freebie-er (person who does not buy, just tries on everything and pretends to look as though she might buy). This was a meaningful event because, under their fluorescent lights I thought I looked pretty good in navy blue eyeshadow, burnt orange blush and brown lipstick. I even tossed my hair with some $44 dollar goo that looked a lot like Aloe Vera. I proceeded to walk around the mall thinking I looked like Jacqueline Smith (smart Charlies angle) until I got to the cheap jewelry store. There I caught a glance of myself in the mirror and thought OMG who is that strange woman with the clown face make-up? At that point the magnitude of the problem began to sink in to my stubborn brain. I wasn't going to be able to change anything with anything I could buy in a jar. I went home to re-think my plan against aging.
Aging is all in the mind. I decided I needed a good book on anti-aging. I bought the Yoga method for anti-aging, the All natural Chinese method for anti-aging and Facial exercises from the Orient. I was really excited - I was going to read my way to being young and beautiful. The books came a few days later and I unwrapped them and then some how they ended up under my bed. I tried facial exercises but I began to worry that I was making wrinkles while I was exercising my face to get rid of wrinkles. I am now dreaming that osmosis works through mattresses.
Then I decided that spot exercising doesn't work. I needed to work-out and then my whole body would be young and my face would glow from the increased blood flow, which would make my wrinkles look smaller. I carefully developed an exercise plan. I was going to run on Mon, Wed. and Sat. Palates on Tues and Fri. This plan actually worked pretty good until I caught a cold, my kids caught a cold and I lost my carpool.
Now I was stuck I had run out of plans. What to do? What to do? How was I going to stop getting old. Then it hit me - it's just a number, who cares? Why make a big deal out of it? No one in their right mind is going to Ask me how old I am. And if they do I'll just say, I am one hundred fifty years old or some facsimile thereof , next question.
Today is my birthday and some really lovely things happened that surprised me. You'll never guess what happened. I got up, I went out and did my thing and then I came home. Yeah it was just another day. Only my daughter called and wished my Happy Birthday( she also gave me that beautiful handpainted picture of the flower fields), and my son gave me a card (handmade) it says, "Dear, dearest, dearstful mother...Let nothing stop you from having a wonderful day. My friend baked me carrot cake. Yummy, Yummy, Yummy. I LOVE CAKE. We had a lovely evening of Cake, Coffee and conversation. Oh and I laughed a lot. Earlier I got a navigation system for my car - it works great I just have to learn how to obey commands and since I have never been trained properly it might be a while 'til I have that mastered. Until them I love the maps.
As my friends left I smiled and my heart grew three sizes because I learned that birthdays are not about numbers ( because I'm not 6 years old) and no matter how old I get that sometimes it's the little things that are the very, very, very best. You know the little things like having wonderful moments with family and friends that add up to a life time of memories.
On Saturday I celebrated with my brother and his family at a very special restaurant. They gave me a digital picture frame. We then went on a boat ride across the bay. I love little sparkly lights, dancing water and moon light. I imagined that the environment was wishing me a happy birthday. I can easily say, a good time was had by all, especially me.